BANGKOK BLUES

The papers say that thousands of British tourists are stuck in Thailand, because of some hold up at the airport. Apparently, on a quiet night, and when the wind is in the right direction, you can hear them moaning. They of course want the good old British Government to bring them home. By that, they really mean the good old British taxpayer. Bollocks, I say. They went out there to sweat, so let them do so.

It really does take the biscuit. All these ghastly over-weight Brits in horrible clothes from BHS, jumping on aircraft and getting into trouble. Then they expect important people at home, like me, to send in the SAS, Royal Navy, massed bands of the Salvation Army, Red Cross, the entire cast of Children in Need and hard pressed British consular officials to help them out. Double bollocks to that.

I expect most of them are sex tourists anyway. Horrible paedophiles with blackheads and piles. They should be locked up, and probably will be if they keep hanging around airports.