INDIA AND PAKISTAN

I heard on the Today programme (which we are all told to listen to but never appear on, unless The Prime Ditherer agrees) that there is a bit of tension between India and Pakistan. I decided it was time for me to bang a few heads together. I phoned up their respective Foreign Ministers with the same message: 'all I am saying is give peace a chance. Try to see it my way. We can work it out. Come together. All you need is love. Don't let me down.'

That should sort that one out.